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Paula and I
Paula and I met in the first grade. Since her last name was Brent and mine was Berneathy, she sat behind me. We were both shy and had nothing to say to each other until the day she asked to borrow my ruler
We lived in a small town in southern Oklahoma where money was scarce, and my six-inch red plastic ruler was a valued possession. Reluctantly, I loaned it to Paula--and she kept it for too long, or so it seemed to me. I turned around to take it back, but Paula wasn't through with it. I grabbed, she held on...the ruler broke.
I cried. She cried. I blamed her, and she blamed me.
And, in the manner of six-year olds, from that day forward, we were inseparable, the best of friends.
As the years passed, we spent many nights at each other's houses, whispering the night away about our plans for the future. We were going to move to a big city and be room-mates in a gorgeous apartment. I would be a writer, and she would be an artist. She would illustrate my books, and we would both be rich and famous. When we were older, probably around twenty-five, we would marry and live next door to each other and be aunt to each other's children.
When we were ten years old, we saw an episode of "Lassie" in which Timmy and his friend pricked their fingers and became blood brothers. Paula came home with me the next evening. We dug a hole in the hard earth out behind my family's weathered old barn, took a thorn from the locust tree and pricked our thumbs, joining our blood. We buried the thorn, each adding an item we prized, as the friends on "Lassie" had done. Paula contributed her dime-store set of water colors, and I added a paper back book. Our most valuable possessions--but not as valuable as our friendship.
Then life intruded. When we were fourteen, Paula's father took a job in Dallas. Their last stop on the way out of town was my house. I stood in middle of the dirt road, waving and crying while Paula looked out the back window of the car, waving and crying.
Still we stayed in touch, writing letters regularly. Still we planned. As we neared high school graduation, we swore that we'd move to Oklahoma City and get that apartment together.
But Paula got married and had a baby. I married, too, and convinced my husband to move to Dallas. For years our friendship continued even though our dreams had fallen by the wayside. Paula became a nurse, and I a legal secretary. I wrote short stories and poems and shared them with her, and she painted me a picture of the old barn where our thorn lay buried
The years flew by. Then while we were both going through divorces, during the confusion and turmoil, we lost touch. Paula moved, changed jobs, remarried, got a new name and phone number.
I remarried and moved to Kansas City, but I didn't know how to reach Paula to tell her. When my new husband and I bought a house, I hung her picture of our barn over my bed and wondered if I'd ever again see her. Her parents were both dead, and my mother was becoming senile, rarely remembering my phone number or address. Short of hiring a detective, I didn't know how I would ever find my friend again.
Often I looked at the picture, thought of my friend and wondered if I'd ever see her again.
But behind the scenes, the magic spell of that thorn was working. Our childish sacrifices of prized possessions must have touched some angel's heart.
Several years later I got a phone call and heard a familiar voice.
"Do you know who this is?"
Of course I knew. I cried. She cried.
She told me that she'd called my mother twice and been given wrong phone numbers both times. She'd almost given up, but decided to try one more time...and caught my mother in a rare moment of lucidity
Now Paula's back in Oklahoma, and I live in Missouri. We see each other every summer and call each other regularly.
During the years we'd lost touch, she had another, unexpected, child...a girl, named after me.
A girl who calls me "Aunt."
My Best Friend (short story)
My name is Sapphire, and my best friend is an anorexic. Just thought I’d clear that up.
At first I was jealous. Ruby was just so skinny. She started drinking water like it was the only drink in the world, and it gave her spotless skin. I admired her. She had the self control to choose what she wanted to eat. Whereas I couldn’t seem to stop myself if someone offered me something yummy.
But slowly admiration for her slim figure turned into me being freaked out and a little bit disgusted. All her clothes started to hang off her body and her stomach started to curve inwards. Her face lost most of its flesh and made her eyes look sunken and too big. She couldn’t talk about anything except food and dieting, and she started fainting all the time.
Me and her other friends tried to get her to eat. She didn’t even like chocolate any more. And when we told her she could end up in hospital she just told us to stop being so melodramatic. If only she knew.
Two years after Ruby stopped eating she was admitted to hospital weighing the amount of a four year old even though she was 15. She was fed by tubes into her stomach for two months, in which time she gained a healthy weight. But as soon as she was sent home she refused to eat. She locked herself in her room and nobody could visit her; especially not the friends who cared about her.
She began to self harm. She would faint daily. She would scream to be fed but when her mum asked what she wanted she told her nothing. All of her friends and family would phone the house or visited every day to see how she was doing. Every day the news was the same.
July 2nd 2012 was the day Ruby died. Nearly everyone cried, asking nobody in particular how she could do that to herself. Nearly everyone ... except me. I don’t know why I didn’t cry. I just couldn’t.
My name is Sapphire, and I am at my best friend’s funeral.
tahukah anda .....
Persahabatan atau pertemanan adalah istilah yang menggambarkan perilaku kerja sama dan saling mendukung antara dua atau lebih entitas sosial. Artikel ini memusatkan perhatian pada pemahaman yang khas dalam hubungan antar pribadi. Dalam pengertian ini, istilah "persahabatan" menggambarkan suatu hubungan yang melibatkan pengetahuan, penghargaan dan afeksi. Sahabat akan menyambut kehadiran sesamanya dan menunjukkan kesetiaan satu sama lain, seringkali hingga pada altruisme. selera mereka biasanya serupa dan mungkin saling bertemu, dan mereka menikmati kegiatan-kegiatan yang mereka sukai. Mereka juga akan terlibat dalam perilaku yang saling menolong, seperti tukar-menukar nasihat dan saling menolong dalam kesulitan. Sahabat adalah orang yang memperlihatkan perilaku yang berbalasan dan reflektif. Namun bagi banyak orang, persahabatan seringkali tidak lebih daripada kepercayaan bahwa seseorang atau sesuatu tidak akan merugikan atau menyakiti mereka.
Nilai yang terdapat dalam persahabatan seringkali apa yang dihasilkan ketika seorang sahabat memperlihatkan secara konsisten:
kecenderungan untuk menginginkan apa yang terbaik bagi satu sama lain.
simpati dan empati.
kejujuran, barangkali dalam keadaan-keadaan yang sulit bagi orang lain untuk mengucapkan kebenaran.
saling pengertian.
Seringkali ada anggapan bahwa sahabat sejati sanggup mengungkapkan perasaan-perasaan yang terdalam, yang mungkin tidak dapat diungkapkan, kecuali dalam keadaan-keadaan yang sangat sulit, ketika mereka datang untuk menolong. Dibandingkan dengan hubungan pribadi, persahabatan dianggap lebih dekat daripada sekadar kenalan, meskipun dalam persahabatan atau hubungan antar kenalan terdapat tingkat keintiman yang berbeda-beda. Bagi banyak orang, persahabatan dan hubungan antar kenalan terdapat dalam kontinum yang sama.
Disiplin-disiplin utama yang mempelajari persahabatan adalah sosiologi, antropologi dan zoologi. Berbagai teori tentang persahabatan telah dikemukakan, di antaranya adalah psikologi sosial, teori pertukaran sosial, teori keadilan, dialektika relasional, dan tingkat keakraban. Lihat Hubungan antar-pribadi
Paula and I
Paula and I met in the first grade. Since her last name was Brent and mine was Berneathy, she sat behind me. We were both shy and had nothing to say to each other until the day she asked to borrow my ruler
We lived in a small town in southern Oklahoma where money was scarce, and my six-inch red plastic ruler was a valued possession. Reluctantly, I loaned it to Paula--and she kept it for too long, or so it seemed to me. I turned around to take it back, but Paula wasn't through with it. I grabbed, she held on...the ruler broke.
I cried. She cried. I blamed her, and she blamed me.
And, in the manner of six-year olds, from that day forward, we were inseparable, the best of friends.
As the years passed, we spent many nights at each other's houses, whispering the night away about our plans for the future. We were going to move to a big city and be room-mates in a gorgeous apartment. I would be a writer, and she would be an artist. She would illustrate my books, and we would both be rich and famous. When we were older, probably around twenty-five, we would marry and live next door to each other and be aunt to each other's children.
When we were ten years old, we saw an episode of "Lassie" in which Timmy and his friend pricked their fingers and became blood brothers. Paula came home with me the next evening. We dug a hole in the hard earth out behind my family's weathered old barn, took a thorn from the locust tree and pricked our thumbs, joining our blood. We buried the thorn, each adding an item we prized, as the friends on "Lassie" had done. Paula contributed her dime-store set of water colors, and I added a paper back book. Our most valuable possessions--but not as valuable as our friendship.
Then life intruded. When we were fourteen, Paula's father took a job in Dallas. Their last stop on the way out of town was my house. I stood in middle of the dirt road, waving and crying while Paula looked out the back window of the car, waving and crying.
Still we stayed in touch, writing letters regularly. Still we planned. As we neared high school graduation, we swore that we'd move to Oklahoma City and get that apartment together.
But Paula got married and had a baby. I married, too, and convinced my husband to move to Dallas. For years our friendship continued even though our dreams had fallen by the wayside. Paula became a nurse, and I a legal secretary. I wrote short stories and poems and shared them with her, and she painted me a picture of the old barn where our thorn lay buried
The years flew by. Then while we were both going through divorces, during the confusion and turmoil, we lost touch. Paula moved, changed jobs, remarried, got a new name and phone number.
I remarried and moved to Kansas City, but I didn't know how to reach Paula to tell her. When my new husband and I bought a house, I hung her picture of our barn over my bed and wondered if I'd ever again see her. Her parents were both dead, and my mother was becoming senile, rarely remembering my phone number or address. Short of hiring a detective, I didn't know how I would ever find my friend again.
Often I looked at the picture, thought of my friend and wondered if I'd ever see her again.
But behind the scenes, the magic spell of that thorn was working. Our childish sacrifices of prized possessions must have touched some angel's heart.
Several years later I got a phone call and heard a familiar voice.
"Do you know who this is?"
Of course I knew. I cried. She cried.
She told me that she'd called my mother twice and been given wrong phone numbers both times. She'd almost given up, but decided to try one more time...and caught my mother in a rare moment of lucidity
Now Paula's back in Oklahoma, and I live in Missouri. We see each other every summer and call each other regularly.
During the years we'd lost touch, she had another, unexpected, child...a girl, named after me.
A girl who calls me "Aunt."
My Best Friend (short story)
My name is Sapphire, and my best friend is an anorexic. Just thought I’d clear that up.
At first I was jealous. Ruby was just so skinny. She started drinking water like it was the only drink in the world, and it gave her spotless skin. I admired her. She had the self control to choose what she wanted to eat. Whereas I couldn’t seem to stop myself if someone offered me something yummy.
But slowly admiration for her slim figure turned into me being freaked out and a little bit disgusted. All her clothes started to hang off her body and her stomach started to curve inwards. Her face lost most of its flesh and made her eyes look sunken and too big. She couldn’t talk about anything except food and dieting, and she started fainting all the time.
Me and her other friends tried to get her to eat. She didn’t even like chocolate any more. And when we told her she could end up in hospital she just told us to stop being so melodramatic. If only she knew.
Two years after Ruby stopped eating she was admitted to hospital weighing the amount of a four year old even though she was 15. She was fed by tubes into her stomach for two months, in which time she gained a healthy weight. But as soon as she was sent home she refused to eat. She locked herself in her room and nobody could visit her; especially not the friends who cared about her.
She began to self harm. She would faint daily. She would scream to be fed but when her mum asked what she wanted she told her nothing. All of her friends and family would phone the house or visited every day to see how she was doing. Every day the news was the same.
July 2nd 2012 was the day Ruby died. Nearly everyone cried, asking nobody in particular how she could do that to herself. Nearly everyone ... except me. I don’t know why I didn’t cry. I just couldn’t.
My name is Sapphire, and I am at my best friend’s funeral.
tahukah anda .....
Persahabatan atau pertemanan adalah istilah yang menggambarkan perilaku kerja sama dan saling mendukung antara dua atau lebih entitas sosial. Artikel ini memusatkan perhatian pada pemahaman yang khas dalam hubungan antar pribadi. Dalam pengertian ini, istilah "persahabatan" menggambarkan suatu hubungan yang melibatkan pengetahuan, penghargaan dan afeksi. Sahabat akan menyambut kehadiran sesamanya dan menunjukkan kesetiaan satu sama lain, seringkali hingga pada altruisme. selera mereka biasanya serupa dan mungkin saling bertemu, dan mereka menikmati kegiatan-kegiatan yang mereka sukai. Mereka juga akan terlibat dalam perilaku yang saling menolong, seperti tukar-menukar nasihat dan saling menolong dalam kesulitan. Sahabat adalah orang yang memperlihatkan perilaku yang berbalasan dan reflektif. Namun bagi banyak orang, persahabatan seringkali tidak lebih daripada kepercayaan bahwa seseorang atau sesuatu tidak akan merugikan atau menyakiti mereka.
Nilai yang terdapat dalam persahabatan seringkali apa yang dihasilkan ketika seorang sahabat memperlihatkan secara konsisten:
kecenderungan untuk menginginkan apa yang terbaik bagi satu sama lain.
simpati dan empati.
kejujuran, barangkali dalam keadaan-keadaan yang sulit bagi orang lain untuk mengucapkan kebenaran.
saling pengertian.
Seringkali ada anggapan bahwa sahabat sejati sanggup mengungkapkan perasaan-perasaan yang terdalam, yang mungkin tidak dapat diungkapkan, kecuali dalam keadaan-keadaan yang sangat sulit, ketika mereka datang untuk menolong. Dibandingkan dengan hubungan pribadi, persahabatan dianggap lebih dekat daripada sekadar kenalan, meskipun dalam persahabatan atau hubungan antar kenalan terdapat tingkat keintiman yang berbeda-beda. Bagi banyak orang, persahabatan dan hubungan antar kenalan terdapat dalam kontinum yang sama.
Disiplin-disiplin utama yang mempelajari persahabatan adalah sosiologi, antropologi dan zoologi. Berbagai teori tentang persahabatan telah dikemukakan, di antaranya adalah psikologi sosial, teori pertukaran sosial, teori keadilan, dialektika relasional, dan tingkat keakraban. Lihat Hubungan antar-pribadi
